A Martian on Mars

Had a neat dream last night.

I was in this warehouse full of bodies. It was freezing. Black and white tile floors.

I had a choice to choose a synthetic body to inhabit. Let’s call this synthetic body an “ideal vessel” for my consciousness. This huge silver machine clicked on and gazed directly into my everything. I remember a cold shift occur, and one moment I was standing in my old body, the next I was looking at it through a new pair of eyes. My old body fell to the floor in a lifeless pile and was swept away by this huge silver scraper into these blood gutters morphing it into a gory mess of hair, skin, and bones. It made me feel emotional watching this. Which is interesting because if I now occupied my ideal body who cares about the old one?

My first reading of this dream feels like trying to reconcile attachment to my old body in the same way I might be attached to an old house. It’s lived in, comfy, and I have memories of which I associate that thing with. Everything leaves, dies, goes away. Old bodies. New bodies. All temporary. The conintuum of the higher Self isn’t so easily explained. And despite being so far removed from my old body, I remembered what it was like before. Even though I held issue with my previous body I didn’t dislike it. I liked my old body despite its faults. Which means I’m capable of finding something positive out of what I perceived to be a shitty situation. Getting used to a shift, a change, something new, takes a lot of work and effort.

I enjoy the challenge of being in less than ideal situations. Conflict comes in all levels of the human experience, but are there any that seem less ideal or more difficult than others to successfully live through? I think no. Because no matter what type of existence I lead in a human sense, I will always perceive my own struggles as both the most difficult, important, and unique.

Language. I don’t speak a language even remotely similar to you. Translation: We are similar in that we both share differences.

There’s something to be said about feeling “foreign.” I will always be a foreigner. It’s part of the experience of human existence to feel like a stranger in a strange land. I’m a Martian wherever I go. Even on Mars.

Xeper through the mirror of the Self,

Adept Nikoletta Winters

A Martian on Mars

It’s All Their Idea!!!

I’ve been re-reading “The Satanic Bible.” As a kitten, this tome meant something completely different to me. As I’ve reviewed the book over the last week, I get this feeling in the back of my head of how 1960s it really is. And that’s evident in some of the language that Uncle Anton uses. He uses phrases that appear to be targeted at the type of individual that understands Xtian culture of the period. I could see this book being used in a college level course in the future as a tool to examine culture of that period. Actually, I would be quite surprised if there isn’t already a course that uses “The Satanic Bible.”

Overall, I feel that there is a lot of showman fluff all throughout the actual solid stuff here, which is something you need if you want to sell yourSelf or something you’re doing. It would do me a lot of good to focus on improving my own showmanship in many areas of my life. It will also come in handy as I continue to get comfortable doing tarot readings. Like using showmanship to bide time while I use my other faculties to interpret a spread. I already do this some, and maybe this is where some loose basic knowledge of astrology will be able to actually be useful.

When I look at “The Satanic Bible” from the point of view of how “showy” it is as opposed to the things Uncle Anton has written, the book becomes something else entirely. Dare I say, genius, because there’s a lot going on under the hood here. Both in actual message and presentation.

This nature of showmanship actually makes me want to scrutinize the current state of stand up comedy. Nowadays, there is no showmanship. You can dress in a t-shirt and blue jeans and go up to tell unironic jokes about the everyday. It’s become really common, even among bigger names in the industry. They want to convey a “no-bullshit let’s laugh at idiots” type of routine. And it works. It would be interesting though if someone were to come up and instead of talking about idiots, they bring the idiot to the stage. Maybe like Steve Martin or Robin Williams did in their heyday. Like an unintentional intentional funnyman as opposed the stoic “cut to the chase” pessimistic type of comedy that’s become the norm. I bet if the right person did it, in the right place, they would become huge.

Show and Tell

I can tell my audience about something until I’m blue in the face, but until I really show them that everything they thought about what I’m trying to communicate with them is congruent to what they had in mind there’s going to be some level of disconnect. I must seek to instigate a superficial moment of Synesis between mySelf and my audience. For example, I have this tool to tell you what you already know (a tarot spread), and I know that you already know it through the reactions you make to what I’m showing you. I now know what you know and reveal that “truth” objectively through speech, even though we both knew that “truth” simultaneously before it was even said.

This all goes back to the idea of being clever by making your audience feel as though they are the clever ones. If I can get them to believe that what I’m doing is their idea, I’ve not only created a sense of urgency through perceived realization in my audience, I’ve also made them feel special by making them believe that what I’m describing to them was their idea first.

Showmanship also embodies something else, mode of dress.

Suits. People don’t wear them anymore. I was watching a documentary recently about how particular James Brown was about his band’s presentation back in the 60s. If they did six shows in one day, he expected his band to have their suits cleaned and pressed before the next show. Somehow they were able to pull this off. After a time, he even expressed a no-tolerance policy to his band for not wearing a cleanly pressed suit–even on their tour bus. All of this was done as a way to aide James Brown himself and the public persona he was building up as a way to hack the system at a time where it was very difficult for a black man to move up into the upper echelons of society. In order to get what he wanted, James Brown had to give the public the idea that he was always a well-dressed man, surrounded by people of a similar demeanor.

Persona building can be aided greatly by mode of dress, it’s only a matter of finding what part you want to play.

Atmosphere is also important. For example, I find using extravagant trappings in my ritual laboratory like candles, statues, symbols, signs, and even location as tools to aide in connect with a persona capable of communicating with my NeterSelf. Subjectively speaking, the use of such “props” help to enhance the atmosphere of my ritual laboratory in such a way that the space between me and my higher Self closes ever so slightly. In writing this, I’m reminded of the movie “Arrival” (2016). If I used the scientists trying to communicate with the aliens in that movie as a model to explain my objective corporeal meat vehicle, I can use the aliens in that movie as a model for my higher Self. Neither speak the same language, but through unique invention, the scientists figure out a way to communicate with the aliens using abstract symbols. Ritual trappings are used in this same way. These types of tools can be used “on stage” as well, especially if I’m taking a job that requires creating a level of “escape” for my potential client.

It bums me out to see local fortunetellers read out on 4th avenue here in Tucson without taking into account the importance of showmanship and atmosphere. They’re usually out at every street fair we have downtown. Ragged jackets, dirty card tables, and a demeanor that makes them seem more like transients down on their luck than noble fortune tellers. It all just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Who wants to have their fortune told by someone who doesn’t even look like they know what fortune is?

Just some things to think about on a mesmerizing Monday.

Xeper through the mirror of the Self,

Adept Nikoletta Winters

It’s All Their Idea!!!

The Fifth Eclipse 

In all directions, I see mountains. And beyond those mountains exist the Great Darkness. Nothingness. Abstraction. Time moving forward, dragging its rusted body across the dimensions in a spiral. Every minute inevitibility comes more and more into focus. What does it mean to End? I gorge on the Never, bringing into being a renewal of sacrifice. My subconscious, a conduit, digests that which lies on the other side of the black towering Eclipse. My first deed, created out of the earth like a disfigured shape wrapped in decay, engulfs the whole of the earth in flaming fire.

Yes, I am willing to forget myself for myself. Sacrificing the who I was for the who I am to be.

The walls do weep the saddest shade of red wailing for relief to shine the light of divinity elsewhere. Their shadows creep towards the pinnacle strangling every rose that dare bloom in the absent sun.

O HOLY, HOLY, HOLY is she who raises the glass of invention. Her flesh a vessel to be shed–motionless and Dead.

Raise up your beleaguered body from the ashes of the old, for there exist no gods without imperfection, the means to create, and the ability to recognize that even the future can be reshaped and disfigured in the image of We.

Hard is the heart of fate. And every tribute? A feast for the hand of Me.

The Fifth Eclipse