Remember When

Reanimate cognition And bring yourSelf into new fire Return to suffer Without limbs! Without fever! Climb out onto the dusty rings of Saturn And reanimate cognition Frozen… Without limbs! Without fever! There I heard the secret words: “NOSTOS!” She whispered. “ALGOS!” He cried. Were the good times then? If only I had known while I…

Rûna Goes Meta

Meta is a term that’s been kicking around in various gaming communities for a few years now. When we talk about meta in a game it is the self-referential process which something must be done in order to arrive at a satisfying conclusion. I.E. Winning. This process can be changed and can evolve with time…

Buying the Self

I woke up this morning and realized that I’m not okay. I realized that I am an easy going person. That I don’t let anything bother me. Even if those things should bother me. I blow them off with laughter, put on a facade, or use selective hearing to block them out. I figure that…

Almost Certain Hurt

I’ve been thinking about a lot of different things lately. Death is among one of the most intriguing things I’ve really been jumping into. I feel that as I’ve grown older it’s around me more and more. I’m more keen to it. Winners and losers. They will always be there. Last year, I stepped on…

Attachment and Initiation—The Obsessive Struggle

The first thing I want to talk about is my current understanding of Xeper. The tried and true “Coming into Being,” and “Mindful Evolution” are great and wonderful, but it’s important for me to define Xeper in order to understand how I’ve applied it to my own initiation. This is tough, because in order define…

The Year L Review: Self-Discipline as Heroism

It’s been quite the year. Perhaps the biggest surprise is that I’m still writing on this blog. I’ve started and stopped so many blogs and websites over the years that I find it hard to believe I’ve actually stuck with it for an entire year. We’ll see if I make it through another one! Self-discipline…

Saturnalian Echo Chamber

“No true orientation in life is possible without both pleasant and unpleasant sensations.” —P.D. Ouspensky I’ve been growing more and more skeptical of everything as of late. I question everything—it’s exhausting…and fruitful. I am constantly restless. I am hungry. Where was I this time last year? Not here. I want to look at the facts….